Trust me
This body of work exhibited as Trust Me in April-May 2024, explores my ‘life quake’
Installation view, Canberra Contemporary Art Space, Manuka.
Includes:
Trust Me, 2024. Steel bed base, board, local sedimentary rocks, pillow and pillow case with sequins. Dimensions variable.
PLEASE USE YOUR ELBO TO PRESS D BUTTON, 2024. Acrylic on board, 51 x 40cm.
“Beautiful because it is generous… This is not an exhibition about cancer. It tells us that life goes on.”
Elisa Crossing, Lecturer, Painting Workshop, Australian National University, School of Art & Design
“Much is revealed by this moving, multi-media examination [of Hassan’s] transformative experience… For her, cancer provided the bonus of seeing the body in new ways.”
Brian Rope, Trust Me Review, Canberra Critics Circle
“Trust Me is not a ‘poor me’ story. It is a positive tale of how one woman copes with what everyone else fears and how she uses her creativity.”
Sally Hopman, RiotACT, Region Media
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"Tender", 2024. Acrylic on board. 31 x 31cm
"Visitations", 2023. Acrylic on board, 51 x 40cm.
"Care economy", 2024. Reclaimed hospital nursing gowns and sequins. With thanks to Michele England.
Detail of "Care economy", 2024.
Still image from "Cerulean (Having a look inside the body is quite thrilling)", 2024. Stereo channel video, 1920 x 1080, H264, 30 FPS, duration: 7:09”
Still image from "Cerulean" (Having a look inside the body is quite thrilling), 2024. Stereo channel video, 1920 x 1080, H264, 30 FPS, duration: 7:09”
"I am not an avatar (I am still here)", 2024. Body+ size. Mixed media on silk.
Detail, "I am not an avatar", 2024. Body+ size. Mixed media on silk.
Detail, "I am not an avatar", 2024. Body+ size. Mixed media on silk.
Detail, "I am not an avatar", 2024. Body+ size. Mixed media on silk.
"I have been very lucky or should I say blessed", 2024. Acrylic on board. 31 x 31cm
"Banded together", 2023. Patient identification bands (24 stitched together, total 5 metres)
"All at sea", 2024. Acrylic on board. 51 x 40cm
"Blue", 2023. Digital print on Hahnemuhle Photo Rag paper. Artist Proof.
"Vul-ner-able", 2024. Hospital patient gown, fabric and thread. With thanks to collaborator Dr Geetha Sekhon (installation view).
"Rewilding Iris/After the prawn", 2024. Acrylic on board, 60.5 x 46cm.
Detail of "Vul-ner-able", 2024.
Detail. "Rewilding Iris/After the prawn", 2024
"Everything matters and nothing matters", 2024. Embroidery on absorbent hospital pad (with Alison Ford)
Cerulean (Having a look inside the body is quite thrilling), 2024, Stereo channel video, 1920 x 1080, H264 FPS. Duration: 7:09”.
Production support and editing: Oliver Martin
Care moment, 2024. Recycled table, house paint and pencil, upcycled plastic kidney dish, mats made of disposable medical plastic tongs, sugar-coated chocolate buttons in a ceramic bowl.
INSTRUCTIONS
Take a moment
Take one
Delight in its colour
Let it rest on your tongue
Enjoy its sweetness
Remember a time you felt cared for
Remember a person who cared for you
Give thanks
Write about it or draw it; share what you would like.
diary / posts / Trust Me online posts / diary
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diary / posts / Trust Me online posts / diary *
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I really enjoyed taking to @alice.k.matthews @abccanberra Afternoons about TRUST ME now showing at @canberracontemporary Manuka. Alice, you're a stella interviewer and kindred spirit. Amazing that we both worked at #ABC Current Affairs in our twenties, a formational time in our careers with legends of the craft. Stay well.
#art #health #catharsis #recovery #prayer #love
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Last night Prof Dr Paul Dugdale with the ACT Health Minister Rachel Stephen-Smith opened the show alongside the wise Reverand Carolyn Kitto.
@canberracontemporary Manuka
(Yes, the gallery is open today, Anzac Day)
Paul (a friend introduced to me by A Ford @alison.amaryllis and Mark Cully) was a sage getting me through clinical care especially in regards to my relationship with physicians.
He said at the time of my diagnosis:
'Trust and be sanguine that things will go well but keep asking questions.. Keep the communication open. Find a balance between what you do and what they do' .
It was good advice and excellent advice for life more generally. It was important to have people with clinical knowledge and of systems to crosscheck with.
Aren't I lucky, or should I say blessed.
The minister (who came with media adviser, Meagen - a former nurse) stayed to chat for a generous time. We talked about the value of holistic care.
Thanks to a room full of people who came along!
@rachelss_mla @dorteconroy @kk_butler @blaide.lallemand
#art #health #hospital #care
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Harold came into the gallery today.
@canberracontemporary Manuka for TRUST ME
He read the blurb about my life-quake.
"My life-quake began when I was born."
Harold has had multiple cancers.
He describes himself as neuro diverse.
"It's society that makes me feel weird."
He noticed the painting called 'The Ground of me Being said Who do you think you are'.
"That's exactly the question I have been asked and I got the wrong answer."
I suggested that maybe life is one long answer.
He said, "This is profound..
I love the variety here. One side of my brain loves it. Another side doesn't know what do with it."
He noticed the found object work.
"You know how there are found objects. I am a found object but most who found me have abandoned me."
My heart slumped and I restated that he is welcome here.
He spent a long time at the 'Care moment' table, reflecting and writing.
He took my picture and I took his.
Harold is hugging himself because he said he needed to..
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Word had got out that there was a painting with a #blackdog in the show.
Local Anne and her Schnoodle came by to see the painting called Waiting for a Walk (It has my dog - Maltese poodle Archie in it).
Anne has survived breast cancer and a stroke, caused, she says by stress.
"You've got to find joy in the everyday. I like champagne but I could not drink white wine for ages because of the metallic taste in my mouth because of chemotherapy."
Looking at another work called Trust Me, about faith and hope, she observed, "My saint is St Jude. Heard of him? The saint of hope for the hopeless. We've all got to have faith in something."
@canberracontemporary Manuka
#visualart #health #hope #joy
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Waiting for a walk, 2024. Acrylic on board. 60 X 46cm
Lachlan Coventry said the domestic animal on a lead, representing being contained by illness, contrasts with the wild cockatoo, representing freedom.
[Other] special visitors today. @barbarabaikie, an advocate for women and peace, chair of @bighart_online and fellow member with me of @womensclimatecongress and @bull.gordon who many of you know, legend of @anuartdesign.
Barbara cried. "Beautiful and emotional".
We're both fans of @brenebrown
VUL NER ABLE
Gordon stood with his favourite.
He wondered too about the birds.. and connection to @ruthwaller6060 and her series on hospitals with the blue curtains holding waiting and pathos.
TRUST ME @canberracontemporary Manuka
#natureasmedicine #birds #vulnerability #health #strength #mystery #art #painting #textiles
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Beautiful people supported the arts today.
Nic Schmidt spent a long time watching Cerulean (Having a look inside the body is quite thrilling).
They said, "Thank you Toni for your works which remind me of what's important.".
@canberracontemporary
#body #meditation #cancer #video #scan @couscousguy01 (my video editor) @niccihaynes - equipment support
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People I know and new people came into the gallery today. Many have a story to tell, some hard and inspiring.
Ian came in, wide-eyed, carrying a walking stick.
He has terminal cancer. His boyfriend who came by yesterday urged him to see the show.
"I was given 4-6 weeks but have had 4 years..
"Cancer is back in my bone marrow...
"Attitude matters. I am angry but also accepting...
"People don't know how to talk about it (cancer). It's important to express the experience. My family doesn't want to know. I give them an update and then we move onto another topic quickly."
We talked about the value of being IN today.
@niccihaynes @huf.caroline @katigorgenyi @elisacrossing #painting #acrylicpainting
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Helen Pilkington, now into her eighth decade of life (who I met though the Chorus of Women and now a collaborator with me at Cohousing Canberra), brought these delightful flowers in. They pose on the Care Moment / Gratitude table in the gallery.
I have elected to have just one day off between opening and closing and it's today.
There's definitely good fatigue after the install flurry, opening night and conversations in the space - which have had their own weight and light.
Thank you @tonydsteel @elisacrossing @brianrope @jodiecunninghamart @peterwilkins977 and others who've come along.
And makers @eon.artlife @alison.amaryllis @creative_endemophilia @watsoncoho
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Norah came in today (Tuesday), mother and mother-in-law to dear friends, Jiv and Geetha. I know Jiv and Geetha through the community of Holy Cross in Hackett. Geetha is also a medical doctor and anaesthetist who helped me sew the piece in the show that uses a patient gown called Vul-ner-able.
We had a yarn and she gave me permission to share..
"As soon as I came in I felt emotional," Norah said.
"I could see the suffering and the release. It really got me."
Norah's niece, Shereen, has brain cancer and has already had two operations. It has damaged her sight.
"She still plays golf but her partner has to get the ball!"
Shereen is hoping to access a new drug through a clinical trial.
"She is like a daughter to me. I have to find a balance between giving her space and loving her."
Norah most liked the piece, Trust Me, an installation using a bed of rocks. Next to it is a trolley with a meditative video work.
'When you surrender, yes, something that is difficult is allowed to flow."
@canberracontemporary Manuka in Forrest.
#installationart #textileart #love #hope @holycrosshackett
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Justin walked off the street, looking for something to do before getting a feed at the shops in #manuka
Justin says what he got out of the show, is a reminder that "the body is a temple to look after."
He told me about his battle with grog. "I have been sober for 6 months."
At the end of the gallery works circuit there is a table I have called 'Care moment', 2024. It uses a recycled table, house paint and pencil, ceramic bowl, mats made of disposable medical plastic tongs and sugar-coated chocolate buttons.
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Care Economy, 2024
Reclaimed hospital gowns, sequins and teets. (With special thanks to @eon.artlife for awesome assemblage)
Hospitals are not #gender-neutral. There are #power dynamics there, like everywhere else. What I noticed (again) was the fact that specialists incl. oncologists are mostly men and nurses are still majority #women.
This work aims to honour a #feminised workforce.
#textileart #foundobject #nurse
@light.mark @virginiahauss @ywcaaustralia @equalityrightsalliance @sombrearo @amnestyaustralia @iwdaorg @msiaustralia_ @jessiestreetlibrary @ncwact @anucircleforgenderequity @ifecca @goodshepherdanz @girlguidesaustralia @wwda_au @womensclimatecongress @unwomenaust publichealthassocaus @wilpf.aus @zontaintl @nfaw__
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Banded together, 2023. Patient identification bands (stitched together totalling nearly 5 metres)
Ruth is among my circle of women who helped hold me last year.
She liked this work most.
"I love how the stitching looks like a heart beat".
@ruth.das67
@003_lil @canberracontemporary Manuka
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Lynlea came through the gallery with her partner, Clive.
She was struck by the piece that inspired the show's name - Trust Me.
It's a bed with a mattress of amber and ochre rocks next to the trolley and video installation (Cerulean). The bed is at an angle from a corner into the room.
It conjures up, she said, "a monastic cell in which you find yourself and the ground of your being."
She continued, in an insightful and sunny way:
"It seems to be about getting through."
Yes, I affirmed.
"I'm not really into ascetic practice but I understand how a stony path, a place of suffering, is a place of focus," she said.
#health #cancer #remission #visualart #foundobjectart #contemplation #meditation @artshealthnetwork_nsw_act @anusculpturespatialpractice
#recovery @auschristianityculture
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# 2
Thanks @nick.stranks for coming by. Great to hear about your own recovery and life after medical intervention.
TRUST ME finishes on Sunday.
@anusculpturespatialpractice #assemblage #sculpture #mixedmedia #heart #life
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Come along to the Artist Talk today - Saturday #maythe4thbewithyou
There are a lot of birds in this show TRUST ME @canberracontemporary Manuka. I can't tell you why exactly.
Maybe it's that #Canberra is a city of birds.
Maybe it's that birds represent 'spirit' across cultures.
Maybe it's simply about rising above and reaching higher ground.
Nature really spoke to me when I was convalescing and it was birds appearing in window frames or on slow walks that seemed to talk directly to me.
One visitor to the gallery this week, observing a yellow-crested cockatoo (pulling at an exaggerated PEG tube from behind a blue curtain), said he thought it was dove-like, carrying the equivalent of an olive branch.
Samantha, not her real name, came into @Canberra Contemporary Art Space with a raw experience of birds in her life, birds that also came as visitors, in her case, when her partner passed away and she was deep in grief.
"The very next day [after his death], he seemed to visit as rosellas. And the rosellas seemed to be looking into me, saying 'Good on you for getting out of bed today'.
"I began to hope they would appear and they did. It went on for weeks. I still walk around, seeing them and talking to them. And I say hello to him. I feel that there's a bit of his spirit in them..
"I'm not religious, but I know it doesn't end with the body going..
"I am comforted that somehow he is communicating with me," Samantha said.
#maythe4thbewithyou #birds #natureasmedicine #care #canberra #hope #painting
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An accomplished musician and @ouranu PhD candidate Lachlan Coventry wanted to know what it might feel like laying on the bed of rocks.
I said go for it.
Today, Susanna Pain led a Gratitude Workshop in the gallery as a closing event. There were tears of joy.
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Yay and phew. I got through some pretty intense gallery sitting over 2 weeks, sharing hard stories and connecting with people, with tears and tingles. So many people to thank.
TRUST ME, I'm spent. Exhausted but happy.
#art #life #health #dance #mybestself #love #care #celebrate #hope #adventure #catharsis #cancer #Canberra #vulnerability #secondchance #secondhalf @cutupwriting